The Best of L. Sprague de Camp
- Автор: Де Камп Лайон Спрэг
- Год: 1978
- Язык: английский
- Год: Del Rey / Ballantine
- ISBN: 0-345-25474-0
- Жанр: Научная фантастика
Электронная книга - «The Best of L. Sprague de Camp». Краткое содержание книги:
Jake heard the commotion and ran out. He took one look at Tecumtha and made for the gate. In his hurry he left it open. Nively took one more shot, which went wild. Then he ran, too, with Tecumtha after him. He had no chance to reach his car. The mammoth would have caught him right there if he hadn't spotted Elias' bicycle leaning against a tree.
The noise brought Kenneth Staples out of bed. He got to the window in time to see Nively and the bicycle whirl down the driveway with Tecumtha close behind, and disappear on the highway headed for Carriesville.
Staples did not wait to dress, but ran downstairs and out to the garage. He did pause long enough to snatch a hat from the rack in the hall. He took the truck Platt had bought for moving large animals, and started after Nively and Tecumtha.
He had not gone a mile when he was stopped by Popenoe, the local state highway cop.
"Oh," said Popenoe, "it's you, Mr. Staples. Well, what the hell do you mean by—"
"I'm looking for my mammoth," Staples told him.
"Your what?"
"My mammoth—you know, a big elephant with hair."
"Well, I've sure heard funny excuses in my time, but this beats anything. And in your pajamas, too. I give up. Go ahead and chase your elephant. But I'll follow you, and he better turn out to be real. You sure he wasn't pink, with green spots?"
The geologist said he was sure, and drove on to Carriesville. He found a good part of the town turned out around the public square, although nobody seemed anxious to get close.
Towns like Carricsville almost always have a grassy spot in their middle, and on the grassy spot either a statue or a gun and a pile of cannonballs. A typical combination is that of a Krupp 15-centimeter howitzer, Model 1916, and a pile of four-inch iron roundshot of the vintage of 1846. Carriesville had an equestrian statue of General Philip Sheridan on a tall granite pedestal in front of the courthouse. The sun was just rising, and its pink rays shone on Mr. Nively, who was perched on General Sheridan's hat. Tecumtha was shuffling around the base of the statue and trying to reach Nively with his trunk.
Staples learned later that one local citizen had emptied a pistol at Tecumtha, but the mammoth hadn't even noticed it. Then somebody shot him with a deer rifle, which annoyed him. He took after the shooter, who went away. Nobody tried any more shooting. While Tecumtha's attention was distracted, Nively started to climb down, but the mammoth returned before he had a chance to do so.
Staples drove the truck up near the courthouse and got out. Tecumtha took a few steps toward him. Staples prepared to retreat, but the mammoth recognized him and went back to Nively. He paid no attention to Staples' calls. He figured how to get his head against the pedestal without his tusks being in the way, and with one good heave, over went little Phil Sheridan. As the statue toppled, Nively caught a branch of a big oak nearby and dangled like an oriole's nest. Tecumtha waltzed around underneath and made hostile noises.
Staples drove the truck up alongside the mammoth. He let down the tailboard and called to Nively to swing over so he'd land on the roof of the cab, and stay there. Nively did so. Tecumtha tried to reach him there, but couldn't quite make it. He strolled around the truck. Seeing the tailboard, he ran up it into the body to get closer to Nively. Staples hoisted the tail into place and barred it. Then he went around to the front end and climbed up on the hood.
Nively was sitting on the roof of the cab, looking remarkably pale for such a sunburned man. Staples foresaw difficulties in getting back to Platt's, and he couldn't go around as he was. He thought, it's a shame to take advantage of a man who's so all in, but he has it coming to him. Aloud he said: "Lend me your pants and your money."
Nively protested. Staples was not given to lengthy arguments. He climbed up beside Nively and grabbed his arm. "Want to go over on top of your playmate?" he growled.
Nively was a hard man physically, but he winced under the geologist's grip. "You ... you extortioner!" he sputtered. "I could have you arrested!"
"Yeah? So could I have you arrested for trespass and vandalism, not to mention stealing a bicycle. Come on, hand 'em over. I'll see that you get them back, and your car, too."
Nively looked at Tecumtha's trunk, which had crawled up over the front wall of the truck body and was feeling around hopefully, and gave in. Staples left him enough money to get back to Chicago, and he departed.
About this time Popenoe, the state policeman, and two of the town's three local cops had gotten up their courage to approach the truck. One of the latter carried a submachine gun.
"Better get out of the way, Mr. Staples," he said. "That there's a dangerous wild animal, and we're gonna kill him."
"Oh, no, you're not," answered Staples. "He's also a valuable piece of property and a scientifically important specimen."
"Don't make no difference. Municipal Ordinance No. 486—" He was peering under the edge of the canvas cover on the side of the truck body. He got the mammoth's location, stepped back, and raised his gun.
Staples did not see that sitting in the cab while his charge was filled with lead would serve any useful purpose. He backed the truck off the courthouse lawn and drove away. All three cops yelled. Staples couldn't go back the way he had come, because the road was blocked by cars and people. He took the opposite direction, toward Warsaw and Chicago. After two blocks he turned off and into a garage where he was known. Half a minute later he had the satisfaction of seeing two police cars shoot past the intersection with sirens going. In a few minutes they came scooting back, evidently thinking that Staples had sneaked around and made for home.
He telephoned Platt and told him what had happened. Platt said:
"For God's sake, don't come back now, Ken. There's a state trooper out front waiting for you—or rather, for Tecumtha."
"Well, what'll I do? I've got to take care of him somehow. He'll be getting hungry, and he has a couple of gunshot wounds that need looking at."
Platt paused. "I'll tell you: Drive him up to Chicago and sell him to the zoo. The director's name is Traphagen. The cops won't be expecting you to go that way, and if you bring Tecumtha back here it'll just make more trouble."
As Staples hung up, the garage man asked: "Is that Tecumtha you was talking about, Mr. Staples?" He was leaning against the truck. At that instant the mammoth gave one of his spine. chilling toots. Kennedy, the garage man, jumped a foot straight up.
"That's Tecumtha," said Staples pleasantly. He got into the truck and drove off.
He reached Chicago about ten, and at eleven asked to see Dr. Traphagen. The director's secretary looked at Staples queerly, but then, he was a queer-looking sight, with his pajama coat, Nively's pants—six inches too short—and his bedroom slippers.
The girl asked Staples if he had a card. He got out his wallet and gave her one. When she had disappeared into the inner office, Staples remembered that it was Nively's wallet and cards that he had.
Presently she came out and ushered him in. He said; "Good morning, Dr. Traphagen."
"Mr. Staples ... ah ... Nively ... ah ... just take it easy; everything's going to be all right."
"It's all right about the card; I can explain. But my name's really Staples, and I—"
"Just what is it you want, Mr ... ah ... Staples?"
"Would you be interested in buying a mammoth?"
"Well, my dear sir, we're only interested in live animals. If you have a fossil, I think the Field Museum is the place to go."
"I didn't say it was a fossil. It's very much alive; a fine adult male of Parelephas jeffersonii. Wouldn't you like to take a look at it?"
"Certainly, certainly, my dear sir, I shall be glad to." Traphagen started out. As Staples walked through the door two keepers seized him. Traphagen barked at the girclass="underline" "Quick now, call the asylum, or hospital, or whatever it is!"