A Three Dog Problem

In fact, Lulu was sitting up in bed in a bright single room, cheerfully decorated in yellow and green, next to a table heaving with magazines and grapes. She grinned at Rozie as the older man walked away.

‘That’s Uncle Max,’ Lulu explained. ‘He lives with me – I live with him, really, it’s his flat – and he’s nursing me like a professional. He’s such a dear. Oh, soup! And chocolates! And flowers! You shouldn’t have. You really didn’t need to come. I’m fine!’

Rozie settled in a nearby chair. Lulu was chatty as ever, but the dark patches under her eyes were almost black. She winced whenever she moved. Rozie got her to admit that as well as fracturing her collarbone, she’d bruised three ribs.

‘On the stairs?’ Rozie asked.

Lulu sighed, winced and nodded. ‘I know. I don’t know what it is about me. I must have been thinking about my shoulder. Carrying a heavy shopping bag. Reached out to grab the handrail, missed, started to fall backwards, twisted and fell right on my face. Stupid thing to do.’

‘Where were you?’

‘She was right outside this flat.’ Uncle Max was standing in the doorway, holding a tray with tea things. ‘I heard a yelp and ran out and there she was, face down, arms akimbo. You could tell she’d done something awful. She let me ring the ambulance this time and she never does that, do you, darling?’

Rozie started at the word ‘darling’. What kind of ‘uncle’ was he?

He put the tray down on the floor, moved some magazines to make space for it and told them to wait while the tea brewed in the pot. Rozie asked how he and Lulu knew each other, and he parked himself on the end of Lulu’s bed to join in the conversation.

‘I’ve known Lulu since she was a baby, haven’t I, darling?’ he said. ‘She’s my sister’s girl and my god-daughter.’

OK, so he was that kind of uncle. Their close relationship was obvious from the way they interrupted each other’s sentences and finished each other’s jokes.

‘We’ve always lived in each other’s pockets, haven’t we?’ he said.

Lulu agreed. ‘Uncle Max was my coolest uncle by far. He was the person who took me dancing.’

‘You look surprised, Rozie,’ he said from the end of the bed. ‘Lindy Hop dancing, d’you know it? It’s a style from the forties, quite gymnastic. You should see me in my bags and spats and Lulu in her circle skirts. Although, for Lulu it’s a dangerous sport, isn’t it, darling?’

‘I’m always bashing myself,’ Lulu said with a grin. ‘I don’t know how I do it, really. Not just me. I gave my partner a black eye last month. I’ve crashed into you a few times, haven’t I, Uncle Max?’

‘More than a few. But hey, Rozie, tell me about the Palace. Lulu’s bored with keeping me up to speed. What’s the gossip?’

Lulu laughed again. ‘Uncle Max used to be a butler in the Household, did I tell you? It was the reason I applied.’

‘I’ve been hors de combat for ten years, though,’ he added wistfully.

They spent half an hour talking about how things had changed since he’d left. He was misty-eyed.

‘Every day, I miss it.’

Rozie laughed. ‘I doubt that. You must have worked incredibly hard.’

‘Oh, I did. We all did. Lulu does too, don’t you, darling? But with such pride.’ His eyes sparkled. ‘Where else could you do such a job, with people you love and trust like that, eh? Tell me?’

Rozie wasn’t feeling it right now. But she nodded anyway.

‘And then, of course, that horrible death,’ he went on. ‘Two deaths – one at Windsor, and one at the Palace. I’m sure you know much more about them than you’d ever tell.’

Rozie gave the quick-fire response: ‘I really don’t.’

Uncle Max merely raised an eyebrow. ‘That’s exactly what you’d say, though, isn’t it? I won’t press you. I knew Cynthia, of course. Can’t say I liked her, but you had to feel sorry for her.’

‘Did you?’ Rozie thought of the horrible old woman who had sat beside Mary van Renen in the canteen that day.

Uncle Max nodded. ‘It was such a comedown, from the Royal Collection to Housekeeping. I think she started as a picture restorer, something like that – she had a degree in art – then she went to the Works Department and got briefly engaged to the boss. What was his name? No, can’t remember. Someone else I didn’t have much time for. But she didn’t give up, I’ll give her that. Went to Housekeeping, kept her head down, learned her trade, got good at it. No one ever questioned her work. But she wasn’t very nice, d’you know what I mean?’

‘She was an absolute bitch,’ Lulu interjected emphatically from her sickbed. ‘A total cow, and I don’t care what her sob story was. She should’ve dealt with it and moved on with her life.’

Rozie realised they were both looking at her for comment and she couldn’t think what to say. So many sudden possibilities were jumbling round her head that she needed to be alone to straighten them out. ‘I – I’m really sorry, it’s been lovely. But I should go. It was good to meet you, Uncle Max. I’ve taken up too much of your time, Lulu.’