Serpentine

“The other women did.”

“Not effectively, but they tried.”

“In what way?”

“Fake smiles and unctuous voices for my sister, honey, this, sweetheart, that. For my brother and me — and for my father, of course — it was batting the lashes and shaking their you-know-whats. Tacky, the bunch of them.”

Milo said, “Dorothy Swoboda didn’t do any of that.”

“That’s the only reason I remember her. It was as if she felt confident in her situation.”

“What situation was that?”

“I don’t know — maybe thinking she was the Queen Bee houri.”

I scrawled entitled on a Post-it and showed it to Milo.

He spoke the word.

Dr. Anthony Des Barres said, “Exactly. Entitled and arrogant.”

Milo said, “That kind of attitude could cause resentment. Did she have any enemies?”

“How would I know, Lieutenant? I was barely around and when I was, my thoughts weren’t on whatever drama my father had put himself in. I concentrated on spending the minimum amount of time there and then getting back to my studies.”

“So no one you know of—”

“What do you want me to say? That I saw her and one of the other houris engage in a claws-out catfight? It’s not beyond the realm of possibility, these were gold diggers not debutantes. Father probably would’ve liked that — being fought over. But I never witnessed anything remotely like that.”

Milo said, “So Ms. Swoboda’s goal was being your father’s favorite.”

“Don’t put words in my mouth, Lieutenant. I don’t know that, I’m inferring.” Tony Des Barres let out a derisive laugh. “If they had brains they’d have realized he had no intention of developing a relationship with any of them.”

“He told you that.”

“Do you people get paid to be thick? No, he didn’t tell me that. His actions made it obvious. If you want domesticity you don’t assemble a bunch of sluts.”

“Got it,” said Milo. “So the other women jockeyed for position by sucking up to you and your sibs but Dorothy Swoboda didn’t.”

“She couldn’t have cared less.” Snide noise that might’ve been a chuckle. “There you go, you’ve solved it. Another houri bumped her off. Now if—”

“Your brother said she could get seductive with him.”

“Bill thinks he’s God’s gift to women, he’s been married four times. And in answer to your inevitable question, no she didn’t do that with me. I’m the last person to think I’m God’s gift to women. Would you like to know why?”

“Please.”

“I’m gay,” said Anthony Des Barres. “Does that shock you?”

“No, sir.”

“I’ll bet. You people aren’t known for your tolerance.”

Click.

Milo put the phone down, flexing his fingers as if letting go of a hot frying pan. “Sssss. What do you think?”

I said, “He just floated the other women as potential suspects, but if Dorothy did have a chance of being Des Barres’s chosen one, she’d have been a bigger threat to the heirs.”

“Follow the money.”

“Val was a kid, Bill still a teenage preppie, but Tony was a legal adult most likely to appreciate the consequences.”

“Dr. Genius just gave himself a motive.”

I said, “And if he was still closeted, Dorothy could’ve posed a double threat — capturing Dad’s heart and informing on Son Number One.” I smiled. “Of course, you intolerant law enforcement types wouldn’t understand that.”

He cracked up. “What was I gonna say? Feel your pain, sourpuss? Take a look at some internet photos I pulled up, medical galas and such.”

I scrolled through four images, each featuring small clutches of partygoers. Two of the affairs were black-tie, the others, business attire.

Dr. Anthony Des Barres was a tall, broad, heavy-jawed man with a steel-colored crew cut and a pugnacious jaw. A hyphen of thin lips completed the disapproving-elder look. Beyond serious; grim. Hollywood would’ve cast him as a drill sergeant.

The exception to his crankiness was one shot where he stood next to a slender, younger Asian man identified as Richard Hu, M.D. The two of them pressed close together, Hu beaming boyishly as Tony Des Barres managed a pained semi-smile.

Milo said, “Like he was weaned on vinegar. Look at his size, gotta be in my league.”

I said, “Young adult thirty-six years ago and easily able to overpower a woman.”

“Plus he’d have access to Daddy’s car. And remember: Dottie was killed in July.”

“Summer vacation,” I said. “He could’ve been home from college.”

“He gets back to the manse, doesn’t like what he sees, has words with the Queen Gold Digger and it goes far, far south. I ran a search on him, hoping for anything anger-related, but no dice. No priors, period, not a single complaint to the medical board or any online griping. Which nowadays qualifies you for sainthood. Just the opposite, his patients love him. Apparently when it comes to varicose veins, he’s a miracle worker. With an excellent bedside manner.”