The Brass Bed

“Your legs are extremely good,” he said gallantly, “but I don’t see anything wrong with your face, either.”

“It’s very kind of you to say so,” she said, “but it isn’t necessary to lie. As between legs and faces, I will take excellence in the former every time.”

“Well,” said Harvey, “so will I, so far as that goes.”

“In that case, are you willing to fulfill my desire to be kissed by a man with whiskers?”

“I’m willing to fulfill the desire, all right, but I’d rather do it sometime when I can put a little more into it.”

“What do you mean? Because Jolly and Kirby and Felix and Sid are here? What incredible shyness. Are you really that shy?”

“Yes, I am. I’m painfully shy.”

“Don’t you find it rather a handicap?”

“To tell the truth, I do. It’s a positive curse.”

“In a way, however, I find it rather appealing. Quite charming. I think I am liking you better and better all the time, and I am grateful to Felix for calling my attention to your whiskers.”

“You can always count on Felix to come up with a good idea. He does it instinctively.”

“I agree with that. Felix is a remarkable fellow. However, I am more concerned with you at the moment than I am with him. Although I find your shyness charming, I also find it a nuisance. Do you think you would be less shy if we were alone?”

“I think it quite likely,” Harvey said.

“Perhaps we could slip away together a little later. I am most anxious to have you kiss me.”

“I guess it could be arranged.”

Fran smiled. “It’s agreed, then, that we’ll slip away. In the meantime, I suggest that we all have another beer. Do you think that’s a good idea?”

“I certainly do. It’s as good an idea as Felix himself could have.”

He got up and started plugging cans, and Kirby took his arm from around Jolly’s waist but captured her free hand in his and stood there holding it.

“That’s a crazy woman,” he said. “She’s got the morals of an alley cat.”

“Fran?” Jolly said incredulously. “You mean Fran?”

“Certainly I mean Fran,” Kirby said. “Didn’t you hear her practically begging the poor guy to kiss her?”

“Well, I never heard such nonsense in my life. What on earth has a kiss got to do with morals?”

“It’s not the kiss. It’s her begging him that way in front of all of us.”

“Oh, don’t be so vulgar, Kirby. I accept you as a pal, but I can’t permit you to slander poor Fran that way. Besides, she merely suggested that he kiss her. She didn’t beg at all.”

“Sure, sure. Next thing, she’ll merely be suggesting that he lay her.”

“I’m sure she won’t suggest anything of the kind. Fran is my very best friend, and I know her better than anyone else in the world, and I’m sure she’ll leave any suggestion like that entirely up to Harvey.” Jolly jerked her hand out of Kirby’s angrily. “You have made me simply furious, Kirby, and I don’t believe I care to hold hands with you any longer.”

She went over and sat down on the ground with her back against a tree. Kirby flushed and seemed to be savoring the anticipation of a black eye or two, but then he remembered that he was a pal and began to laugh.

“I confess that I’m a simple fellow,” he said, “and can’t understand these fine distinctions. If no one has any objection, I think I’ll go down and see if I can land a channel cat. May I borrow your rod now, Felix?”

“Certainly.”

“You may be down there quite a while,” Harvey said, “so you had better take several cans of beer with you. There’s an extra opener that you may take also.”

“Thanks,” Kirby said. “That’s a good idea.”

He got the rod and three cans of beer and the opener and went down over the bank to the gravel bar. Harvey served beer around, and everyone took a can except Sid, who hadn’t yet made much progress with his first one. When he had finished serving, Harvey went back and sat down beside Fran, and they began to talk. Sid lay down on his back and curved one arm up over his eyes and didn’t move for a long time. I looked at Jolly, and she looked at me, and I wanted her.