Чернобыль. Страницы жизни и любви

Of course, it wasn’t very pleasant to see him next to another girl, but I didn’t have the right to reproach him. I was with him and that was the main thing. In the evening we parted, he went to some girl’s birthday party and I went back home. I really didn’t want to part with him, but I didn’t feel I had the right to interfere with his plans. I felt a little hurt and put out, and I again consoled myself with the thought that I had known all along that it would only be for one night…

He called that night and asked permission to come over. He had drunk a lot. He fell asleep. But even like that I needed him. It felt natural there right beside him.

In the morning, we went to ‘the field’ – an amazing place, where people go with pit‑bull terriers, training them for combat. This spectacle struck me no less than the man who took me there. I should have left, but we stood there like children, holding each others’ hands and not finding the words. That is how we spent our first Sunday.

We began to meet, cutting off the past and entering the present, which belonged only to us. I was getting to know him more and more, rejoicing in the moment spent with him alone. But I was also a mother, and therefore life placed an unavoidably difficult choice before me: should I spend the weekend with a man who made me feel incredibly good, or with a daughter who I really love and who needed me more than anyone in the world.

But he was the best person in the world, my darling, my only man, and everything was sorted out. I told him that I couldn’t meet him this weekend, that I was spending it with my child. He quickly proposed another solution: “I like you, which means I like your daughter too. I want to get to know her.” That evening we were like a real loving family. I brought my daughter from my parents’ place. Sergei got acquainted with her and was really happy. He never stopped joking and, being a little tipsy, became so amusing.

We were a family, and friends came to visit us. Sergei began to talk about what if I was carrying his child. Why was that? Truthfully, in those first days of our relationship, he told me, “You know, you are the woman with whom I would like to have a child.” From the very first meeting he treated me with warmth and softness and on this evening he boasted to our friends that I was expecting his child. But I was surprised that he wasn’t joking, he really wanted a little one. But the main thing was that he loved my daughter and treated her with care and attention. This man had become the nearest and dearest thing to me.

But I knew that it could not be, it wasn’t like that. When he slept, I often sat around him, stroking him, basking in his smell and the feeling of being beside him. Sometimes it was so hurtful that we had actually met and would not be together forever! He was real lady’s man, a bachelor, a man living in the present day, why would he need a woman with a child with all the problems that come with that?

Why was I so afraid to believe in my own happiness, and why was I so certain that all this was just temporary, I cannot say.

I had been one or two weeks late, but now it became longer. Sergei asked me, “Is everything alright?” I answered, “I went to the doctor, he said that I need to take the IUD out if I’m to give birth. If I’m not to give birth, then I have to take it out in any case and use other means of contraception, but because of these delays complications might arise during the pregnancy.”

He took my hand, kissed it and said: “Take it out and to the heck with it.” I tried to object. “I will become pregnant at once.” “Yes, yes, and you will bear me a son. We will have a son together.”

Sergei slyly started to move things over to my place, although he did it very tactically and carefully. We visited the doctor frequently and began to wait for the moment when our closeness would bring us joy, the fruit of our love. Everything happened very quickly: In January I became pregnant. Sergei was so happy!

He had brought his things round, but it was nevertheless very difficult for him as he had to get used to the new environment.

On January 13, the Old New Year, the first ‘son’ was born in our home – our dog, Dobry. After this we went to friend of Sergey every week to look at him. I knew that Sergei really loved this puppy and suggested he take it to our place.

An unexpected problem confronted us: Sergei was made laid off at work and we slowly began to wind down my business. But he shared all these problems with me, all these days and nights he was beside me, protecting me from problems with his love. I knew that I was loved, that he was alongside me and so everything would be alright. It was a very difficult period in our lives. I survived it thanks to Sergei;s love and made it through our wedding. Sergei said that we had to register. We don’t want a kid with unmarried parents. We arranged the nuptials for April 25. It was a very beautiful and happy wedding. We were very happy and rejoiced in each other. We loved and respected one another. In his eyes there was so much warmth, love and happiness! At the wedding he sang me a song that brought tears to my eyes. He sang for me. He sang to his beloved wife. To me.