The World's Greatest Books [Volumes 1-15, 17-20]

Clitandre: Why find fault with us? If you are offended at what is said, you must address your reproach to the lady.

Alceste: No, indeed, it concerns you; for your approving smiles draw all these slanderous strokes from her, and her satirical disposition is continually fostered by the wretched incense of your flattery.

Philinte: But why do you take so deep an interest in these people? You would condemn them for the very things we blame in them.

Celimene: Would you have this gentleman adopt the common view? Must he not display everywhere the spirit of contradiction which he has received from Heaven? Other persons' sentiments can never please him; he always supports an opposite opinion. The honour of contradicting has so many charms for him that he often takes up arms against himself and combats his own true sentiments as soon as he discovers them on other persons' lips.

Alceste: The laughers are on your side, madame,

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and that is saying everything: you can direct your satire against me.

Philinte: Your avowed surliness of disposition will not suffer persons to be either blamed or praised.

Alceste: It is because men are never reasonable that my surliness of disposition towards them is always seasonable. I see that in all matters they praise without discrimination and censure with rashness.

Act III

[Enter Celimene and Arsinoe.

Celimene: Ah, madame, what happy fate brings you here? Truly I was becoming uneasy about you.

Arsinoe: I have come about some advice which I think I ought to give you.

Celimene: Shall we sit down?

Arsinoe: It is not necessary, madame. Friendship ought especially to show itself in those things which may be of the most consequence to us; and as there are none of more importance than those of honour and propriety, I come to prove my friendship by giving you a word of advice as regards your reputation. Yesterday I was with some people of singular virtue, and they turned their discourse on you. Unfortunately, your conduct and the gossip it provokes were far from being the subject of commendation. The crowd of persons whose visits you permit, your gallantry, and the reports it sets going, found censors more numerous than they deserved, and more severe than I could have wished. I did all I could to defend you. I pleaded the innocence of your intentions, and said I would vouch for the honesty of your heart. But you know there are things in life which one cannot excuse, although one would like to; and I was at last forced to admit that your fashion of living did you some harm, that in the eyes of the world it had an ugly look, and that there was no story, however ill-natured,

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which was not in circulation everywhere about you. Not that I believe, at bottom, that virtue is in any way compromised. Madame, I believe that yot> are too sensible not to take this perhaps useful advice in the right spirit, and not to ascribe it to the secret promptings of a zeal that attaches me to all your interests.

Celimene: Madame, I have to return you many thanks; such advice puts me under an obligation. Far from taking it amiss, I desire instantly to acknowledge your kindness by giving you a word of advice as regards your reputation; and as I see you show yourself my friend by telling me the reports which are published about me, I shall follow, in my turn, so pleasing an example, and inform you of what is said about you. In a house the other day where I was paying a visit, I met some people of signal worth, who, speaking of the true concerns of a virtuous life, got the conversation round to you. There, your prudishness and outbursts of zeal were not mentioned as a very good example. Your affectation of a grave expression, your eternal talk about wisdom and reputation, your mincings and little shrieks at the shadow of impropriety which an innocent but ambiguous word might cast, that lofty esteem in which you hold yourself, those pitying looks which you throw on all, your frequent lectures, and your bitter censures on things which are innocent and pure, all this, if I may speak frankly, madame, was blessed by common consent. What is the good, said they, of this modest mien and this virtuous exterior which all the rest belies? She is exact in the last degree in saying her prayers, but she beats her servants, and does not pay them any wages. In every place of worship she displays great zeal, but she powders and wishes to appear beautiful. She has the nudities covered in her pictures, but delights in the realities. As for me, I undertook your defence against everyone, and strongly assured them this was nothing but slander. But the prevailing opinion went against me,

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and the conclusion was that you would do well to have less concern about the actions of others, and to take a little more trouble about your own. Madame, I believe that you also are too sensible not to take this perhaps useful advice in the right spirit, and not to ascribe it to the secret promptings of a zeal which attaches me to all your interests.

Arsinoe : I did not expect this retort, madame, and by its bitter quality I see how my disinterested advice has wounded your feelings.