The Black Lizard Big Book of Pulps

The sergeant sauntered toward the door. “I hope you beat me to it, Jerry. I haven’t been sleeping so well, lately. Thinking about some other poor, lonely fool on her way to meet a murderer. If this guy — or this gang — has gotten away with it five times, there won’t be any stop now. It’s about time for another one. They’ve been spaced about a month apart.”

Teccard frowned. “I thought you said you were up a blind alley on it. What do you mean, beat you to it?”

She smiled, tightly.

“I didn’t say I was licked. I still have a card to play.”

“If we’re going to work together—”

“That would be all right with me. But this is something you couldn’t very well come in on. I’m entered in Cupid’s Competition.”

He jumped to his feet. “Now what in the hell!”

She nodded, calmly. “Current issue of the Herald of Happiness, Meeting Place of the Matrimonial Minded Department. ‘Miss Mary Lownes, single, thirty-one. Of Malone, New York. Pleasant disposition. Capable housewife, though suffering from slight spinal complaint. Occupation, nurse.’ I was, you know, before I turned policewoman. ‘Anxious to meet amiable, sober businessman under fifty.’ That ought to get him, don’t you think?”

“Just because you were assigned to an investigation doesn’t mean you’re supposed to risk running up against a killer, Helen.”

“After the slimy specimens I’ve been running up against, a murderer’ll be a relief. This chasing up and down subways and elevateds to trap exhibitionists, those hours of sitting through double features to nab mashers in the act — that’s not only hard work, it kind of gets you to thinking half the world’s made up of perverts.”

“Yair. But that’s the sort of stuff only a woman can handle. Homicide isn’t for the Women’s Bureau, it’s a man’s job.”

“It’s my job to put a stop to any matrimonial agency that’s doing business like this — to see that love-hungry women don’t get murdered when they figure on getting married.”

“You find the man. We’ll put a stop to it — without your getting into it.”

“That would suit me swell. But it might not work. I may have to get into it, to find the evidence necessary to convict.”

The lieutenant put his fists on his hips and glared. “Hey! You don’t mean you’d go so far as to marry the murdering so-and-so?”

“I’ll go as far as I have to, Jerry. Maybe you’ve forgotten I had a sister who fell for a slimy snake like this Stanton. Alice turned on the gas one night — without lighting it. I found her body. I hate men like that worse than those phoney abortionists I rounded up this spring. At least those girls knew they were taking a terrible chance. These poor, misguided love-seekers don’t even realize their danger until it’s too late.” There was a dull, hurt look in the gray eyes. “But so far, there’s been no proof that any of these women wound up with any legal certificates. No record of any licenses at City Hall, even.”

“God’s sake, Helen! You know the regulations forbid any infraction of ordinances in attempting to trap a criminal!”

“Nothing criminal about getting married, is there, Jerry?”

He opened his mouth, shut it again, glared at her. When he spoke, it was in the tone of a commanding officer. “You let me know before you go through with any damn nonsense like that, hear?”

She saluted, stiffly. “Yes, Lieutenant.”

He wasn’t more than a minute behind her in leaving the office. The police clerk by the rail in the outer room spoke out of the corner of his mouth to a plainclothesman one-fingering on a typewriter. “Geeze! The Lieutenant musta just swallowed a cup of carbolic or something.”

“Teccard? He always looks like that when the Dixon dame gives him ‘No’ for an answer. He’s been carryin’ the torch for her so long, he sleeps standin’ up, like the Statue of Liberty.”