The Arrows of Hercules

"They bundled us passengers into their galley, raped the women, searched us, killed a couple who resisted, looted the merchantman, set fire to it, and shoved off. Naturally, they grabbed my bag of money. However, before the boarding, I had torn up my spare shirt to make a bandage and tied the bandage around my left arm, with a fistful of silver hidden in it. During the fight I managed to get some blood on the bandage. Although they searched me pretty thoroughly—hoisting my shirt to make sure I hadn't shoved anything up my arse—they never thought to unwind the bandage.

"A Phoenician, Yerubaal, headed this band. When we got to Captain Yerubaal's home port of Nagidos, he quartered us in the village. I protested against being detained and having my ransom money confiscated. I argued that ransomers ought to be inviolate, like priests and physicians, and that such highhanded actions as his would ruin the ransom business, to even/body's loss. But Yerubaal was a tough old temple robber. He only laughed, and slapped his big paunch, and quoted proverbs to the effect that a fish in the net is worth ten in the sea. He added that I had better hold my tongue if I wanted to have one to hold.

"It takes a long time for a pirate to send out ransom demands and receive replies. While the ten-days passed, I became friendly with the people in whose hut I was quartered; especially with the boy in the family, who was fired with ambition to become a real throat-cutting pirate like his father. From him I learned that Kelenderis—my original destination—was only two hundred furlongs or so from Nagidos. Moreover, there was bad feeling between Yerubaal and Captain Zamar, who was holding my client Chremes.

"I won't go into all the details, but in the end I bribed the stripling to carry a letter to Zamar, telling him of the fate of the money meant for Chremes' release. Soon Zamar's hemiolia anchored at the mouth of the river. His pirates swaggered ashore, Zamar shouting a demand to speak to Yerubaal.

" 'Here I am,' said Yerubaal. 'What do you want, prick-face?'

"The two captains were very different. Yerubaal was fat and jolly, a great eater, drinker, talker, joker, and boaster. Zamar, on the other hand, was tall, lean, and dark-skinned, with a solemn manner.

"I want my ransomer, Evnos the Karian, and the money he brought to redeem one of my captives,' said Zamar.

" 'Futter you!' said Yerubaal. 'By Tanith's teats, what I have, I keep! Besides, that money has already been paid into the common fund.'

" 'Your conduct is whipworthy and unethical, you branded sodomite!' said Zamar. 'If you don't give me the man and the money, by the gods I'll take them!'

" 'Go ahead!' said Yerubaal with a grin. 'You've never seen me run from a fight yet.'

"Zamar looked around at his men, who were drawing swords and poising javelins, and at Yerubaal's men, who were doing likewise. All the captives and the villagers were spread out behind Yerubaal's gang to watch. In fact, some of the prisoners began laying bets. Then Zamar held up a hand to check his own men and said:

" 'For a long time, sow-belly, I've wanted to cut out your stinking heart; but there's no reason why half our brave lads should die in the cutting. If you're not afraid, I'll meet you in single combat, winner take all.'

" 'By Milkarth's iron yard, that suits me!' said Yerubaal, and he ran at Zamar with sword and shield. Round and round they went with a great clatter—cut, thrust, duck, parry, guard, advance, and retreat. They were well matched. While the Numidian had the advantage of reach, the Phoenician was the stronger and was also quick and agile for a man of his girth. The watching pirates capered and screeched like a horde of monkeys.

"I never did find out which of the two captains was the better, because one of Yerubaal's men rushed forward and stabbed Zamar in the back. Before Zamar had time to fall, one of his men in turn hurled a javelin into Yerubaal's back. Down went the two captains, and the men of their bands rushed together in the fiercest fight I have ever seen.

"The bands, too, were evenly matched. There was a grand mellay, with everybody spearing and slashing, stabbing and kicking, biting and clawing, and blood all over the place. When neither side seemed able to win, some god sent me an idea. Whenever a man fell near the outskirts of the fight, I bravely darted forward, seized his weapon, and handed it to one of my fellow captives. Soon they were all armed.

"After a time, there were only six or seven of Yerubaal's men on their feet, and four of Zamar's. All were so winded they could barely stand and pant, and all had blood running down their dirty hides from their wounds. " 'All right,' said I to the other prisoners, 'let's get 'em!' "We swept forward in a line, every man of us with a sword or spear or ax and most of us with shields as well. Although we were not trained fighters, we were fresh and outnumbered the remaining pirates two to one. It was a slaughter. The pirates had hardly the strength to raise an arm. We chopped them down like saplings, except for the last couple, whom we saved for torture.