Sheet Music - A Rock 'n' Roll Love Story

“Yeah, I know.  When I wasn’t with Annie, he’d say I was pulling the band down with my attitude, and when we were together he claimed the same.  I know he wanted me to be happy, but only if the source of my happiness came from him and the band.  It took me a long time to understand the motivation behind some of the things he did.”

“That’s very insightful, Michael.”

“I think it’s called therapy.  My therapists were very insightful.  Not me.”

They both laughed and Michael’s eyes returned to the television.  They were quiet for several long minutes and Barbara continued to watch him.  Then, without provocation, she reached out and stroked his hair.  The sudden action startled him and he quickly turned to face her.  His eyes were clouded with confusion.

“I guess I couldn’t help myself.  I wanted to see if your hair was as satiny as it looked,” she replied.  “And it is.”

He cocked his head and smiled faintly, then looked away.

Barbara propped herself up a bit and slid closer.  “Michael, I have a confession to make.”

Without looking at her, he nodded.

“Do you remember the night I met Brian?”

“Sort of.  Why?”

“I’m surprised I can remember anything about that night because I was so drunk.  But, I remember everything.  I was instantly enthralled with him.  He was a young guy with an old man’s soul and we connected quickly on a spiritual level.  Then you came swaggering into the dressing room with a ‘fuck me’ attitude and a cheap blonde sucking on your neck.  Brian introduced us and you actually shook my hand, which I found quite charming.  We made eye contact and my knees went weak.  There was something about your eyes that blew me away; a powerful rawness.”

Michael’s mouth slid into a provocation smile.  “Wow.”

“Yes, I’m afraid so.  I vowed that night to make it my mission to get you into bed before I died.  And here we are, twenty something years later, and it still hasn’t happened.”

“I had no idea you felt that way.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t.  I was pretty obvious at times, to the point Brian knew and he was less than thrilled with my obsession.  It was torture for me having to listen to female after female tell me how mind-blowing you were in bed.  And then there were those nights we all stayed in the same hotel room to save money during the early tours.  Brian and I would be in one double bed and you and your girlfriend of the night would be in the other.  Brian would undoubtedly pass-out and I’d be left to listen to you screw those girls into comas.  It was hell!  You have no idea how many times I wanted to slip out of my bed and slide into yours.  Brian was usually so high I figured he never would have known I was gone.”

“Why are you telling me this now?”

“I don’t know.  As embarrassing as it is to admit, I figure honesty is good for the soul, right?”

Michael shrugged his shoulders, feeling awkward with the conversation.  “I suppose so.”

Barbara snuggled closer.  “Be honest, Michael.  Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like if you and I had fallen into bed?”

He looked at her curiously; suddenly realizing she had an agenda, which had managed to elude him until now.  “Honestly, I always thought of you as Brian’s girlfriend and then his wife.  To me, that meant you were off-limits.”

“But, you two always screwed each others girlfriends.  Rumor has it you even screwed his first wife!”

Michael smiled proudly.  “Yeah, I did.  But it wasn’t something we planned.”

Barbara laughed.  “Oh, it’s never anything planned!”

“I'm serious, it wasn't,” he chuckled.  “One night, Beth and I had them over to our apartment.  The three of them were sitting on the couch with Brian in the middle.  I was in a chair by myself with my face snorting whatever was on the mirror in my lap.  Next thing I know, I look up and Brian is making-out with Beth.  Leah was sitting beside them, rolling a joint, and acting as if nothing was going on.  I let it slide while Leah and I smoked the joint and by then, Brian had his hand up Beth's shirt.  I thought: fine.  If you're going to fuck Beth, then I might as well have your wife.  So I grabbed Leah and took her into my bedroom.  The next morning Beth comes in and freaks when she sees us in bed together.  They claimed to have fallen asleep on the couch and it never went further than what I saw.  Yeah right.  If he didn't screw her that night, I know he did later on.  If nothing else, as payback for me doing Leah.”

“Another good story Brian never told me the details to!”

“And, it’s probably best he didn’t,” Michael replied.

Barbara’s smile faded.  “Does it make you uncomfortable to know that I’ve been lusting after you all these years?”

His grin was slow and sly.  “No.  If I let shit like that bother me, I’d never be comfortable going on stage.”

“Good point.  You probably don’t want to know what goes through the minds of your fans!”

Michael sighed and stretched.

“I still do, you know.”

“Still what?” he asked.

“Lust after you.”

He glanced back at her.  She was closer than he realized.  He could feel the friction of her legs against his.  He watched her lick her lips.  Nervously, he looked away and bent forward, grinding his fingers into his eyes.  The liquor was beginning to blur his thoughts together.